Saturday, July 9, 2011

K Squared equals P Cubed

I'm sure there's some mathematical theorem that would disprove the title of this posting; however, I claim no scientific documentation ... just a reflection of a great day spent on the golfcourse.  K Squared (the two initials of my name) became P Cubed on Thursday of this past week.  That's the day I was in a golf tournament with 3 good friends, who dubbed me the Putting Princess from Pinehurst ... P3 (or P Cubed for those mathematicians among you).

I love the game of golf (I think I've mentioned that a time or two in this blog).  That doesn't equate to being GOOD at the game of golf.  Quite the opposite in my case ... as the years go by, I seem to get worse.  A couple of years ago, I was shooting in the upper 40s for 9 holes ... now I'm lucky to escape with a score in the low 60s. For a really good golfer, the upper 40s isn't anything they would brag about (especially since I've been golfing for about 25 years!), but to me it was the mecca I had been striving for. Unfortunately, after I shot a few games in the upper 40s, I think I fell into the golf chasm of "Hey, I've got this game knocked." And the Godess of Golf quickly said, "Oh no, Buttercup.  Life just ain't that easy."

I've tried to blame this downward slide on my advancing age; however, there are a number of women on my golf league (yes, I even humiliate myself on a weekly basis by golfing in a league!) who are older than I (this number is getting fewer every year!) who regularly shoot better than I.  So I can't throw age under the bus.  I'm pretty sure it's one of two things:  1) my tendency to multi-task at everything I do, which results in a very thin "focus" available to be spread among: the ball I'm supposed to be "keeping my eye on"; the green I'm supposed to be aiming at; and planning my dinner menu for the next night! OR 2) my tendency to spend so much time talking to my cart partner that the game becomes secondary. Now that I think of it, the talking is probably part of the multi-tasking and so the two become one.  I am, after all, a SOCIAL golfer!

Despite this lack of focus, Joyce, Julie and Sue still invited me to join them in the "Choker's Scramble" Invitational at Bunker Hills golf course in Coon Rapids (I just live there, folks .. I didn't name the town!).  Bunker is in great shape and I golf there every Friday night during the season in a quasi couples league with 5 or 6 other couples.  In other words, I know the course fairly well and, by now, should be able to play it fairly well!  LOL! 

Two of our foursome are long ball hitters and very good golfers, regularly scoring in the 40s (not the high end, I might add).  They are competitive but nice about it .. in other words, not golf bitches!  The other member of our foursome also hits the ball very well, just not quite as far. Her handicap is close to mine and our games are pretty similar, at least when I'm playing better.  Recently, she is playing at a much higher level than I ... but she still likes me (and she also is not a golf bitch!)

A Choker's Scramble requires one person to be the "choker" on each of the 18 holes.  That person hits her ball from tee to green and counts her strokes MINUS her handicap for that hole The rules required each of the four of us to be the Choker at least twice during the 18-hole round.  While the Choker is playing her ball from tee to green, the other 3 golfers play a "scramble" from tee to green with one of the other 3 balls.  

If you're a golfer, you understand everything I just said; if you're not, this probably sounds like I'm speaking Azerbaijani, but take my word for it, even allowing for use of your handicap, being the Choker brings great stress and anxiety ... at least when your game has been in the tank.

For the first 13 holes, I didn't contribute much to the game.  I apologized and said I felt as if I were being carried by the rest of them, similar to a "Princess" in a fairy tale setting.  I was wearing the visor I had bought when we were at Pinehurst golf course a few weeks ago, so I was dubbed the Princess from Pinehurst.  On one of the holes I did make a fairly decent putt, and Princess from Pinehurst gave way to the Putting Princess from Pinehurst - or P to the 3rd power ... P cubed ... hence, the title of this posting!

We did end up doing fairly well despite my ADHD, and actually earned a $65 "skin" (more Azerbaijani) for our score on one hole and a gift certificate to the Bunker pro shop for our team score.  My golf buddies encouraged me to replace K Squared with P Cubed as the title of this blog and I did give some thought to it.  However, I've been a "Square" my whole life (yes, my maiden name started with a "K" also) and I've only been a Princess since Thursday, so making a jump to this new title seems a bit like "putting on airs" as my mother would say.

Oh yeah, there was one other thing I got as a result of our game Thursday ... a really ugly suntans on my feet!  I don't think even Coppertone's fake suntan in a bottle will even out these puppies.



Michele said...

Paint your toenails! I noticed their nakedness more than the tan lines! ;)

KK said...

I know ... I thought the same thing ...