North Carolina ... hot and humid

We left Pittsburgh on Friday and headed to the reunion at Seven Springs, Pennsylvania. Had a wonderful reunion .. Ed enjoyed every minute of it.  4 of the nuns from Ed's school made an appearance.  87-year old, Sister Matthew, did the driving .. she's a hoot and was an absolute delight ... 27 classmates attended along with spouses, for a lovely turnout.


More about the reunion on a later posting.

We left Pittsburgh on Sunday and headed to North Carolina.  Drove 6 hours through driving rain in Virginia.  At times we couldn't even see the road in front of us.  Today, we toured Pinehurst, a beautiful little town, and the golfcourse.  Stopped at a farmer's market where we got fabulously juicy, local peaches, blueberries, tomatoes and green beans.  Lunch on the patio of a little Greek restaurant ended with the waitress having an asthma attack and us ministering to her ... that amounted to Ed telling her to sit down and take deep breaths in through her nose and out through her mouth.  We alerted a local real estate employee to the fact that the woman was alone in the restaurant for another hour and went on our way after she insisted she was fine.

A loaf of bread from the local market and a salad will accompany steaks on the grill at the home of our good friends tonight.  Golf tomorrow on one of the Pinehurst golf courses. Ed bought a Payne Stewart hat today at the Pinehurst Pro Shop, but, somehow, I don't think that's going to help my game.  Life is warm here ... houses are beautiful ... retirement is good.  

A Time of Reverie

My husband and I have the house to ourselves today ... the house that was his childhood home and that will become his sister's home at the end of the month.  It it very warm outside and so we are inside where the air conditioning leads us to believe that it is a beautiful, June day outside .. not the 92 degrees with high humidity that it really is.


I am lying on the couch reading .. a book I had to go buy since I forgot to pack the one I was reading at home and feel totally lost if I travel without a book.  On every trip, there's always one thing each of us forgets.  This time, Ed forgot his toothbrush and toothpaste.  My "forgetfulness" was less critical.


As I look at the living room around me and the little changes that have already been made since his parents died in March, the 46 years I have known this house as "Mom and Dad's" run through my mind like I am watching a movie.  The flood of memories reminds me of how quickly life changes. While 46 years doesn't seem quick prospectively .. it certainly does in retrospect.  Today, the furniture, drapes, carpeting and knickknacks that fill the living room are all different than they were 46 years ago.  The mint green carpeting matches the mint green drapes and is picked up in the mint green stripes of the couch and chair fabric.  The carpeting 46 years ago was beige ... and I vividly remember dropping a cigarette ash and burning a hole in that carpet on one of my first visits here .... amazing that I was allowed into the family after that.  I also remember being too "green" myself to admit doing it. I furtively tried to clean it up and never mentioned it during that weekend visit.  My mother-in-law, bless her soul, never mentioned it either.  I haven't thought about that event in years and wonder now if my father-in-law, who was also a smoker, took the fall for me.  That wouldn't surprise me.


There is a large decorative vase of flowers where the dining room table used to be.  The table sat in a small "nook" off the living room and on the Sundays we came to visit  (first from Virginia when we lived there and, later, from Minnesota where we settled to raise our family) Mom would invite Grandma and Pappy over to share a delicious meal (no one makes gravy like Mom did) and we would all crowd around that table and enjoy "family."  


The dining room table is no longer in the living room nook because it now resides in the "new" dining room, a room that was my sister-in-law's bedroom when she was growing up. As was fairly common in the 50s and 60s, my in-laws converted the bedroom into a more utilitarian space for all to enjoy once their 3 kids were grown and gone.  How different things are now with the boomerang generation of kids. Bedrooms remain bedrooms "just in case."


Today, in this house, we no longer have to leave the kitchen and walk through the living room in order to reach the bathroom and bedrooms.  We now "cut through" the "new" dining room, a verbal symbolism since there was an archway cut into the kitchen wall. How very convenient; just cut a hole in the wall and life becomes easier.  I'm happy that the "cutting through" of the wall didn't cut away all of the memories little girls had of that bedroom ... both the little girl who grew up in that bedroom and my little girls.


When they were younger, our daughters used to come from Minnesota to visit their grandparents here in Pittsburgh and they stayed in that "bedroom cum dining room" on those visits.  My oldest daughter still refers to the "new" dining room as "her bedroom." Thank goodness childhood memories can't be retrofitted as easily as a room can.


Many of the neighbors and relatives who visited this home when I first met this family are long gone.  Grandma and Pappy used to come for Sunday dinner.  They made me feel so welcome and loved, as if we had known each other forever.  Grandma would talk often about people I didn't know; relatives I had not yet met I supposed.  I would later learn they were characters who populated her favorite soap opera.  She would be relaying the latest day's episode to her daughter, my mother-in-law. Grandma talked about them as if they were all real to her, as, indeed, they were, since they were her "everyday companions."  Her husband, Pappy, was very hard of hearing, and would sit on the couch with a sweet smile on his face, not contributing much to the conversation, but always looking as if he were enjoying himself.  We later learned that, periodically, his deafness would miraculously disappear.  Those would be the times when he was interested in what was being talked about in the room.  The deafness would suspiciously reappear when Grandma would advise him to "put on your sweater .. you're cold" or "don't eat that .. it doesn't agree with you." Those two dear people have been gone for many, many years, but, as I look around this living room, I can still see both of them sitting here as if they had just come to visit.  


Life goes so fast.  We learn that only after someone we love has been taken from us. This trip is resurrecting many wonderful memories for me .. and ringing a small alarm to remind me to soak in all that is around me.  


We will leave here on Friday and head to my husband's 50th class reunion.  I went to school in a different state, so I won't know many people. But I plan to really "look" at these people who will occupy a small space in my life this coming weekend, but who had a major place in my husband's life 50+ years ago.  I know Ed and I will probably compare notes later and comment on how much older than we they all looked  .. is that not the standard reaction when we see people from our past?  Especially our high school past? But I hope we also talk about the role they all played in my husband's life.  Each one of them contributed something to his formation.  They all are owed a silent thank you from me for helping make him the man he is.  I hope I remember to say that to a few of them if I get the chance.


Enjoy your day and soak in your surroundings.


  

Destination: Pittsburgh

Our first postretirement trip began Sunday, June 5.  We left our home with our little Kia Sorrento packed to capacity (2 people for 2 weeks in 5 different locations requires a lot of "gear"), our iPODS loaded with our favorite music, a Hershey's Skor Bar (for Himself), a Snickers Almond Bar (for her) and a cooler of water and Diet Coke, looking at 901 miles of road between us and Pittsburgh.


Our first day was uneventful, other than counting roadkill (see paragraph below).  Ed is still suffering through some aftereffects from prostate cancer surgery and he was worried about having to make "rest" stops every 35 minutes or so, but he managed to last 1 1/2 to 2 hours between stops.  Since that coincided with how often I needed to stop, it worked out perfectly.


We discovered pretty quickly that Wisconsin is the home of "dead deer on the road." True to their new governor's plan to cut back on services, their highway department apparently doesn't bother picking dead animals up once they are hit, so they ranged in color from a lovely tan to a deep brownish black, depending on how long they had been lying on the side of the road. Made for a "colorful" drive.


By the end of the day we had tallied 12 dead deer, 4 live ones and one dead cat!  There were a good number of "partials" as well.  Sorry to report, we didn't take the time to do a closer inspection so are unable to identify what the partials had been when they were whole!  Don't we have an interesting life ... counting dead animals!  By golly, I sure can see why people love this retirement stuff!


We spent Sunday night at the Inn of St. Mary on the campus of St. Mary's College in South Bend Indiana.  Lovely setting and nice hotel.  Ate dinner at the Fiddler's Hearth in downtown South Bend.  If you visit South Bend, you can skip Fiddler's Hearth.  We were hopeful it would feature good Irish food and some interesting beers.  It had neither.  Ed had soggy fish and chips, and I had the Ploughman's Platter (bread and cheese) and both the bread and the cheese were filled with "green things" ... and it wasn't mold.  Those of you who know me know that green things in food and I aren't a good match ... I call it "Gucci food" and avoid it at all costs.  To make up for the lack of good food or interesting beer, the restaurant's location featured a prime view of all of the South Bend motorcycles! There isn't much happening in downtown South Bend on a Sunday evening, but there certainly are a lot of bikers taking advantage of the deserted streets.  


On the road early Monday morning.  Headed for Cleveland before going on to Pittsburgh.  We started with a visit with Ed's cousins, the Caseys, stopping first at their gift shop, "Casey's Irish Imports," where we picked up a few lovely items.  Then  it was on to Tom and Veronica Casey's house for lunch.  Tom Casey's dad was the brother of Ed's Grandma, Molly (Casey) Kelly and was the youngest of the 8 Casey siblings.  We had brought a photo album from our trip to Ireland last August to share.  



Tom especially enjoyed seeing pictures of the old Casey homestead where his dad and his Aunt Molly (Ed's grandma) lived as children.  There is not much left of the homestead .. it is rather in shambles as you can see in this picture.  But you get a flavor of what life was like in Ireland back then.  Very difficult.  Understandable why so many fled the poverty and came to America. 

Ed, Tom and Kathleen

Tom and Veronica's youngest daughter, Kathleen, was our gracious chauffeur to and from her parents' home and joined us for lunch.  The Irish are so delightful and this family was no different.  I left feeling as if I had known them forever, even though I had just met them.  Not only were they gracious and hospitable, but, we were the lucky recipients of a loaf of Veronica's homemade raisin bread when we left, an absolutely delectable treat.  

We were happy to see the Pittsburgh skyline as we arrived.  It is truly a beautiful city and has come a long way from the days of smog and the smell of steel that Ed remembers from his years as a sailor hitching a ride home on the Pennsylvania turnpike while on leave from his duties in Washington DC.  He used to say his nose told him at least 40 minutes before he arrived that they were approaching Pittsburgh.


We arrived at Ed's parents' former home at about 6 p.m.   His sister, Kathy, is buying the home and her two sons are currently living in it.  Kathy will move in later in the month.  It was fun to see how they're making it their own, without losing Mom and Dad's touches.  It was a little bittersweet "coming home" to the house they built 50+ years ago and not finding them waiting at the front door for us.  But we are happy the house is staying in the family and know it will be well loved and cared for.  Already cookies have been baked here, a refurbished arcade game finally resides in the aptly named "game room," and the 3-season porch will soon become a 4-season sunroom ... all signs that the house is still a home and is adapting to the new family living here.


Shortly after we arrived, Ed's sister handed me an envelope addressed to me in Dad's handwriting.  In it, a clipping he had cut out of the local newspaper in March, shortly before he died.  For years, we have mailed newspaper articles to each other that we believed the other would enjoy.  I always got the better end of the deal, as he chose wonderful articles and columns from the Pittsburgh Post Gazette.  My source, the Minneapolis Star Tribune, has pretty boring columnists and opinion pages (at least in my opinion) so I always looked forward to a great read when the bulky envelopes would arrive.  I will treasure the gift of this one last article that came to me 2 1/2 months after his death.  Thanks, Dad.


We are here for a few days of rest now before heading to Ed's 50th Class reunion.  More to follow.